Tomorrow is my birthday.

Normally I would never admit to turning another year older let alone announce it.  But as it hasn’t exactly been a normal type of year I thought I should throw my self inflicted tradition to the wind and actually celebrate the annual event.

For about the past ten years I have refused to celebrate my birthday or talk of the associated number of age.  This denial of parties and cake is because I have loathed getting older.  I thought by ignoring and not throwing festivities for the day that I was born I would somehow prevent the onset of middle age and all the fears associated with the realisation that I am no longer in my younger years.  The fear of grey hairs and sickness.  The fear of becoming the older lady in the office who is viewed as  irrelevant and out of touch.  The fear of dying alone, still with so much to do.

Obviously throughout these non-birthday years I’ve had family and a couple of close friends who just happen to do nice things for me and treat me special on a particular day in January.  My non-birthday day is usually very small and quiet and I’ve enjoyed it like that.  Thank you my friends and family for indulging me and supporting my crazy ways!

But this year I realised my pathetic hang up on age is unimportant.  I’ve realised that unless you are a kid or teenager, birthdays aren’t about the number.  Birthdays are about celebrating another year of life.  Another year of successes and failures.  Another year of friendships and love.  Another year of experiences and moments.  Another year of building memories and stories to share for years to come.   And as in my life another year of learning from chaos and challenges.

So this year I’ve decided let’s celebrate.  And I don’t mean with a big party or cake (although I am known for enjoying a slice or two of cake when the opportunity arises). I mean let’s celebrate by me acknowledging the day and taking the time to look back on the year I’ve had.  I’m not going to ignore the past year by ignoring my birthday.  I’m going to embrace it.  I’m going to reflect on the year that has been and then look forward to the year ahead.

Above all else I am going to celebrate that I’m still alive and doing well.  I am going to celebrate what I’ve been fighting so hard to keep.  My life.