To be more present.  That is my 2016 new year resolution.

I’ve realised that there are two ways that I can reflect back on the past couples of months.  I can either label it as the worst months of my life and wear the scars on my sleeve.  Or I can accept it for what it is and find a way to create goodness for me and the people around me.  I choose the latter.

I am determine about finding ways to use my learnings from my recent experience to help others.  At the moment I’m not quite sure how I’ll go about doing it but I just know in my heart I’ll make it happen.  Lemonade will be made in 2016.  For now I believe I can be a better person, a better friend, a better daughter and a better sister by being more present.

Being present is something I have struggled with over the years.  I am definitely someone that has tended to be on my way through to somewhere else.  I have tended to be more worried about the future and getting there quickly by disregarding the now.  I struggle with being in the moment and just feeling.  I struggle with smelling the roses and letting life play out.

I am taking this resolution seriously and have spent some of my Christmas break researching mindfulness and being in the now.  I’ve discovered, thanks to my loyal friend Google, that there is a lot of interesting information out there on being present and the art of mindfulness.

Even though I have found my research interesting I can’t see myself becoming a mindfulness guru or meditation queen.  I can however see me learning how to be more in the now in it’s simplest form and benefiting by gaining:

Clarity:  When you are in the moment you have a much better focus and things flow naturally out of you.

Calmness:  You feel centred, relaxed and whatever you do you do more easily.

Positivity:  Since there is little fear, there are few negative emotions when you are in the present.

SOLD!  If I can bring those three elements into my life I think my new ordinary would be  a pretty good place to be.

A lot has happened this year.  I’ve learnt so much about myself and the people around me in such a short amount of time.  And one thing I’ve learnt is that we can’t change the past but we can shape our future by being in the now.  By being present and aware of where we are today.  By feeling.

I want to be more present.  I need to be more mindful.

I will learn.  I will grow and be better.  I will make lemonade.