The unpredictable planning of my new ordinary strikes again.  My short hospital day that I was hoping for tomorrow has been transformed into an all day event.  Tomorrow I will be getting an iron transfusion and my chest tubes removed.  It has been decided that I won’t be having dialysis for at least another four weeks.  In four weeks my super artery in my arm would have healed and be strong enough to take on two pen sized needles and cope with the power of Kevin my magic dialysis machine in all his blood swirling glory.  Therefore I don’t need my chest tubes and they can come out tomorrow.  Which is very exciting because they are painful, awkward and ugly.

I am not worried about the iron transfusion but I am a bit concerned about the removal of my chest tubes.  My question is why did it take me to be under general anaesthetic and a two hour surgery to get my chest tubes in but they are only going to use a local anaesthetic and a day bed to get them out?  I questioned the nurse three times today.

“So what you’re saying is that I will be awake while you pull out the tubes from my heart, through my neck and out of my chest?”.  And each time my response was an unwavering “yes”.

I am sure this is a very simple procedure for the nurses and doctors.  But for me my mind is going into over drive.  I have images of Edward Scissorhands hacking away at my chest before he grabs my tubes with one scissor and yanks them out in one swift and rather painful movement.  Edward Scissorhands has a look of success and glory as he holds out my chest tubes in a victory wave and I lay bleeding, faint and traumatised with a huge hole in my chest.  Very dramatic I know, but that’s where I’m at.

These tubes are inside my neck.  These tubes are inside my heart.  How can I not feel them come out if I am awake??

So tonight I go to sleep with disturbing thoughts, mild nausea and a fear of what new and glorious experiences my trip to the hospital tomorrow will bring.

Oh well nobody could accuse me of leading a dull or predictable life….