How do I make lemonade?

So many clichés whirling through my head….

Does my cloud have a silver lining?
Is there writing on my wall?
What is the good that is coming out of something bad?
This hasn’t killed me, so am I stronger?

How do I make lemonade?  How do I take these lemons and make something sweet for all to taste?  How do I allow this to change who I am and others for the good?  What am I meant to do with this?

At the moment it isn’t obvious to me what to do.  It isn’t obvious how to make pink sparkling lemonade.  It isn’t obvious how I am to embrace this situation and help me to help others.

I am finding it frustrating as I want to learn from all this.  I want to see myself grow and give back more than I’m taking.  But right now I don’t know how.  Is this lack of knowing because I am only at the beginning of my journey?  Is it because I am still falling down my rabbit hole?  Is it too soon for me see past the horror of needles and my first surgery that awaits me?  Is it because I don’t understand my new ordinary and the true meaning of life of dialysis? For me.

Patience is a virtue.  Cliché.

I have three weeks until my next appointment.  An appointment that will define my months ahead of surgery and dialysis.  I have three weeks to be me, without needles and surgeries.

Three weeks to think about and design my lemonade stand.