Tonight is one of those nights.  It’s a night that makes tomorrow even harder.  It’s a night where nothing works and I have no answers or solutions.  It’s a night that makes me want to scream and rip my skin off.  It’s a night where I really don’t want to be me.

2am legs twitching.

3am body spasms.

What do I do?  How can I rest?  How can I make the darkness my friend again?

I crave for a solid night.  I crave for a peaceful night.

This is a nightmare but I am awake.

What was that noise?  Everything sounds loud.

I am hot.  I am cold.

Left.  Right. Front.  Back.  No that hurts.  Front again.

Pillows.  No pillows.  Throw rug.  No throw rug.

Every part of me is screaming.  Every part of me is moving.  Itching.  Angry.

My new norm.