I’m writing a living will.

I’ve come to the realization that there are some things I don’t want to leave to chance.  And I’ve also come to realisation that people are unpredictable when it comes to being in the moment.  They might listen and say all the right things in discussions however when the moment hits and they are pressured to make life or death decisions there is a high chance that they’ll crumble and go off script.

I understand that letting a loved one go is difficult and that there is always that promise of hope that everyone wants to cling on to.  But I’ve decided that if I crash and burn and my kidneys one day take me down, all the way down, I know I don’t want to be clinging on to an existence through a machine.  I know I don’t want to be nothing but tubes and hope.  I don’t want to be a machine living shell.  I don’t want to be resuscitated. So I thought I better write it down.

So this week I’m writing my living will.  Not something I had on my to do list but something I think is necessary.