I am absolutely shattered!  I don’t even know how I will make my journey home.  I am exhausted in every way.  Physically, mentally and emotionally.  I know this is my new norm if I am going to continue working full time, but I am still surprised by it.  I am still surprised at the uncontrollable urge to just close my heavy eyes and sleep.  My option of fighting through and finding energy is gone.  I don’t have the ability to dig deep and find one last scrap of energy to keep me going.  I am now living on that last scrap.  That last scrap is my full energy source.

I do struggle with my new norm.  I have gone from the energizer bunny to the tortoise.  I don’t like being the tortoise.

I met up with a work colleague the other day who has also been through a life changing experience and who also was a natural energizer bunny before their accident.  In his experience he went from hectic everything in life to slow paced everything in life.  When discussing the challenge of coming to terms with a new norm he pointed out a positive that I had missed.  He asked me if I now find myself more considered.   In answering his question it made me realize that yes I do believe I am more considered.  I think my brain is less cluttered.  I believe my mind is less  chaotic as I am not rushing around from here to there and with that comes the benefit of clarity.

So as much as I say I don’t really like my new norm lifestyle I need to keep reminding myself to search for  the silver lining.