I’m in hospital.  I’m back at work.

I have surgery, back in hospital.  I return to work.

I have another surgery.  Home for a while.  Back to work I go.

I try dialysis.  I stop dialysis.  Still working.

Hospital visits, back and forth.  Different specialists.  Different opinions.

I listen.  I do.

I take out the tubes.  More hospital days.

I have a break.  I breathe.

I don’t know what’s next.  I share what I know.  I don’t keep anything hidden.  And I do everything as asked.

They want to put a needle through my back.  I roll over.  They want to join my veins together.  I turn up and sleep while they take a scalpel to my arm.  They want to thread tubes through my neck and into my heart.  I ask how many stitches will I have.  They want me at the hospital at 6.40am.  I am there with half an hour to spare.

This is how I’m fighting.  I am doing everything that is asked and I’m doing it the best I can.

Why the questions?  Why the doubt?

I know the constant changes and back and forth is difficult.  Uncertainty is difficult.

Please work with me not against me.  I’m not fighting the system.

I’m dancing with it.  Dance with me.