Circus Show Day 113

I stayed home today.  I didn’t get up.  I didn’t put on my work clothes.  I didn’t go to work.

I struggled over the weekend.  I literally didn’t get out of bed for two days.  It was a tough couple of days.  I felt ill.  Really ill.

There was a point when I was lying on my bathroom floor,enjoying the coolness of the tile on my clammy body, that I thought I couldn’t go on.  I thought I can’t do this.  I don’t want to do this.  I’m tired of being tired.  I’m tired of the nausea.  I’m tired of the cramps, the back ache and the disgusting metal taste in my mouth no super strength mouth freshener or mint can remove.  I’m just tired.  All I wanted was for some magic genie to come along, pick me up off the floor, carry me back to bed and cure me with a twinkle of their nose.  Instead I crawled back to bed and I have been there ever since.

But tonight I am feeling much brighter.  I can tell my body is feeling better as well.  My eyes have gone from completely yellow, puffed up slits to white with eyelids.  It is always my eyes that show me how I’m doing.  So I think I’ve gotten through another rough patch and back to work tomorrow.

I know I’m going to have bathroom floor type of days every now and then, when my body just wigs out on me.  But I must say I feel as though I’m bouncing back much better from them these days.  So it’s a positive step forward.

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